Just Another Day

The pills and razor blade rest at my side
This is not the end but the beginning
I have had my low points
I have taken a few pills in the past
Only to obliterate the world from my mind
A few moments of peace
Before everything comes crashing down
Disjointed memories of an ambulance and a hospital
Drifting in and out of consciousness
How in God’s name has it come to this?
I reached out to so many souls
But they were too busy living their own lives
Moments of enlightenment followed by days of depression
But that was the past
Today is the dawning of a new reality
I have taken all that this world can throw at me
The pills and razor blade still rest at my side
But they are not going to see any action tonight
It is a night of silent contemplation
I put everything back in their proper place
This world can be a better place
I will fight on a little longer
The pills and razor blade will always be there
My silent friends who lead me into darkness
I am ready to stare into the light
At least for one more day
Just another day,
no more...


Rest In Peace
neo

Denial

I have had enough of self-denial
I am not the one on trial
Its society
I have had enough of this sobriety
I am going to break the chain
No need to explain
You have been applying the screw
And you always knew
That eventually I would crack
And start fighting back
I am starting a new page
The world is my stage
I am throwing away my black clothing
I no longer have a need for self-loathing
What did you expect?
I have regained my self-respect
What did you expect?...
Rest In Peace
neo

Im Jus a Normal Dyud But..

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't understand it, it's to normal things I'm geared
By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

I'm just a normal fella who goes off to work each day
I do my job, lunch with my mates, each week collect my pay
But in the night I dread the bed, each night is just the same
Cause all my dreams are kinky, one overnight sick game.

I'm dressed in a G-string tied in a bow
There's a chicken in a garter belt, Oh God no!
Birds fly by and wolf whistle overhead
Don't roll over there's a roo in the bed ...

15 Strippers all in a row
All with bra-straps ready to blow
One pretty lady dancin' in my lap
Don't you touch or you'll get a nasty slap.

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I think one day when I was small, Ma dropped me in the sink
By day I'm just a normal sod, by all my dreams are kinked

I'd like to have a girlfriend, but it just never does work out
We get on fine until they find what my night dreams are about
Then they drop me like a stone, they say they can't compete
With nude three-breasted women with vibrators on their feet

Hippos in tutus, hot oil & cream
Chains and whips all to make me scream
Lizards & snakes all in strange places
They're gettin' it on & making lewd faces

When dreaming the nightclubs everywhere
Are chock full of animals in underwear
Teddy Bears in teddies, wombats in hot pants
All we need now is a couple thousand ants

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
My life could be near perfect, my life could be real fun
If only when I slept the chorus girls weren't dressed like nuns

I went to see a famous shrink, to straighten out my head
I told him if I can't get fixed I might as well be dead
He laid me down & said "tell me of your erotic dreams"
I said "One feather is erotic, not whole chickens soaked in cream!"

There are female wrestlers all covered in jelly
Exotic dancers doing things with their bellies
A cute sexy lady, covered in mud
Whispers in my ear with the voice of Elmer Fudd

There are strong males strippers with bricks in their jocks
With all those square corners they couldn't be socks
This stuff all around me is one kinky dream
Whatever you imagine I'm sure to have a theme

I guess it is my lot to life, can't beat it so I'll join
I suppose that they are only dreams they don't even cost a coin
So if at night you happen to hear me in my sleep
Just think, "that lucky bugger, is dancing naked tending sheep."

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't under stand it, it's to normal things I'm geared
By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird


well..wanned sum gud thotz..n i gess deze kinda ryme dun ze?..;)

Rest In Peace
neo

IBM waznt around den...

Before IBM, The Head Programmer created the heavens (the area aboveyour computer) and the earth (the area below your computer). The earth wz a mass without order... sort Pascal program. Then, The Head Programmer (hereafter referred to as THP) said, 'Letthere be IBM.' And, IBM, as an infant company, appeared. And THP waz pleased wid it, and gab IBM great powers. THP let IBM grow for a tym, and then other companies began ta appear. Together, they created ze first computer market. All of these events happened in the first decade. N then THP said, 'Let IBM separate to form the mainframe division above n e microcomputer division below.' So THP made the mainframe divi-sion, separating the company to 4m another division. These events occurred in the second decade. Then THP said, 'Let the microcomputer division be infiltr8d, so dat IBM cannot be accused of bein a monopoly.' And so, it happened.Then THP called the IBM micro a PC, and called ze odez ' micros"compatibles". And he sed, 'Let ze earth burst forth with everysort of microcomputer and 'compatible', and allow doz computers 2b copied, so that the market is open'. And so it waz, n THP waz pleased. This all occurred in the third decade. Then THP said, 'Let der b oper8ing systems wid the computers ta gib lyf ta ze computer and to identify the Mainframe division n ze Micro division. De will allow ze users to use ze computer,and the version number shall mark the days and ze years. And so 'twaz. For THP made two systems, the VM system, and DOS, ta be used by ze divisions, the larger wun, VM, to preside over ze Mainframe divi-sion, and ze smaller wun, the DOS, to preside over ze Micro division.And THP gave them to IBM, to provide life to ze computer, and to pre-side over ze Mainframe and Micro divisions, and to divide ze two divisions. And THP waz pleased. This all happened in the fourth decade. Then THP said, 'Let the earth teem with applications programs, and ol oda types of programs, of every kind.' So THP created gr8 programming languages, and evry sort of applications programs, and every kind of game. And THP looked upon them with pleasure, and gab each a copyright. 'Multiply and stock ze earth,' he told 'em, and to ze games he said, 'Let your types grow. Be known throughout thethe world!' Dat ended ze fifth decade. Then THP said, 'Let the world bring forth every kind f peripheral,monitors and disk drives, printers, and ol types of add-ons.' And so it was. THP made all sorts f printers and disk drives and mouses.And THP was pleased with what he had done. Then THP sed, 'Let us make a programmer - someone like ourselves,to be the master of all computers upon ze earth and in the skies and in ze seas.' So THP instructed a man to be a programmer. Like THP did THP instruct the man. Male and Female, did he instruct alike.And THP graduated 'em and told 'em, 'Multiply and produce code, n subdue ol computers; u r ze masters of ol the software and ol ze peripherals. And see! I have given you the IBM computers through-out the world, and all the compatibles.' Then THP looked over all dat he had made, and it was superb in every aspect. This ended the sixth decade. Now at last, IBM was a thriving company, and with all the programs n programmers it would need. So in the seventh decade, THP halted ol work that he had been doing, and THP called this a system crash,and decreed dat ol computers would experience dis. Thus endeth the seventh decade. Later, man learned to hack, but that's another story....

Rest In Peace

neo

How to Catch a White Elephant

Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you amuffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant willbe happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants likemuffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row.After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffinwithout rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant findsout that the muffin lacks rasins, it will darken in anger.And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

Rest In Peace

neo

compz ain ql..erm.mebbe de r..

I just gotta tell you..that I like computers a whole lot. They make my life easier. I likethe fact that there's a computer overseeing the internals of my micro-wave oven, my stereo, and my television, because there's less chance thatI can hurt myself with any of these devices. I sleep easier at nightknowing that when I get up in the morning I won't press the wrong buttonson my microwave oven and cause it to explode or something; the computerinside, like all intelligent, self-preserving beings, will prevent mefrom doing so. But, friends, there are just some places where computersdon't belong. I took my car in for a tune-up at the local garage. I won't mentionthe name of the company, but they sell tires and have a blimp. Now where I come from, a tune-up consists of new spark plugs, points,perhaps a new rotor cap, air and gas filters, and a timing adjustment.So I was a bit suprised when I saw... The Interrogator. The Interrogator was a large box roughly the size of a IBM 4341 CPUsitting on end. It was wheeled close to my car. From my vantage pointin the lobby of the station I could feel my car -- a small Honda Prelude-- shiver with fear. Several mechanics spent many minutes insertingthe tentacle-like appendages of The Interrogator into every orifice ofmy cowering Honda. Under the hood, up the tailpipe! My poor car.Until then, it had been a tailpipe virgin, and I still don't think ithas gotten over the trauma of that tune-up to this day. Once all the tentacles were firmly inserted, The Interrogator wasfired up. With a voice eerily reminiscent of Darth Vader, it said, yesI mean SAID: "Start the engine." The mechanics obeyed. For the next 15 minutes the computer inside The Interrogator examinedmy car. The mechanics stood close by, having coffee. In the lobby,I paced nervously. Finally, to my relief, the tentacles were removed. The Interrogatorproduced a written report of everything it thought was wrong with mycar, and the mechanics sprang into action fixing all those things. AsThe Interrogator was being wheeled away, I heard it say in that evil,deep voice: "We shall meet again, young Honda." The entire situation was quite disconcerting for me and my car, sowe're going to steer clear of Darth Vader and the blimp people from nowon. But without computers, you probably wouldn't be reading this, soI guess I still like them quite a bit. I just hope my microwave ovenisn't really a stormtrooper in disguise...

Rest In Peace
neo

Navigator(KIND tales #2)

Abhi closed the front door firmly, but quietly, in order not to wake the still sleeping Srijo. He always left promptly at 7.30 in the mornings and Srijo usually slept until about 8 o'clock. He had never been a breakfast person and preferred his solitude in the early morning, drinking cup after cup of tea in peace and quiet, although he would sometimes have the radio on quietly.
Abhiroop Brahma hated his wife. This was a fact that he had come to terms with for some years now. Of course he never admitted as much to any other living person, certainly not Srijo herself. If she had any wits she would know and do the decent thing and leave me, he thought, but he knew that Srijo had little or no wits and leaving him was the last thing in her mind.
When they were young and in love, or so they supposed themselves at the time, things seemed different. Srijo was a jolly, friendly girl and not bad looking and they were content to drift along, getting engaged as a matter of course, and settling down into the routine which became their lives for twenty-seven years. They had two children, a boy and a girl, both somewhat brighter than their parents, who were now attending university and making their own lives.
For some time now, Abhi had nurtured a dream. It had started as a vague indefinable longing and gradually turned into an all-consuming passion. He wanted to sail away in a boat, preferably before he was fifty-five, and capture some of that youthful feeling of adventure before it was too late. Who knows, if he hadn't met and married Srijo, he might have had the adventures he was now seeking. To prove he meant business, he attended navigation classes at the local Adult Education Centre and would talk knowledgeably of infrastructure and suchlike, to anyone kind enough to listen.
It wasn't so bad while the children were younger, but now they had fled the nest and he was left with the prospect of growing old with Srijo. The children had given them a common interest while they were at home, but their departure highlighted the yawning chasm between them. They had, to be blunt, nothing in common. No shared interest. Srijo thought his dream of sailing away was laughable and called him a dreamer - a latter day Walter Mitty. She certainly didn't take the matter seriously. To be fair to her, she did buy Abhi a model boat, quite an expensive one too, so he could practise sailing on the village pond. Far from satisfying his longing for all things nautical, this simply fired his enthusiasm. He was even more determined to one day have a "real" boat.
Srijo, on the other hand, was content with her life and always had been. She enjoyed bringing up the children and housekeeping - and now she valued her part-time job. Her only objective, if you could call it such, was security in Abhi's and her old age. Adventure was not on the agenda. She did not dream or aspire; she took as a matter of course what life had handed to her; she slept soundly every night and, if she dreamed at all, it was about the new kitchen she planned or which bulbs to plant for next spring. Everything was fine as it was. Poor old Abhi would soon forget these silly notions of sailing away in some little boat. At any rate, this was Abhi's reading of the situation.
Abhi's job as a supervisor at G.DMashi. Supermarket, a position he had held for some years, could not be described as fulfilling - but it paid well and, with no qualifications to speak of, he considered himself lucky to have a reasonably well paid and secure job. Despite that, he craved for something more.
The more staid and comfortable and middle-aged Srijo became, the more Abhi's imagination was fired by the thought of doing something exciting before he was too old. He liked what he saw in the mirror; he had kept his hair and his teeth; and he was quite slim. He also kept himself fit. He jogged on a regular basis and prided himself on his firm abdomen and muscular physique.Abhi knew divorce would be out of the question. Srijo had strong views about the sanctity of marriage and besides, to be fair to Abhi, he had never really been interested in other women. (Few of them liked sailing, from what he had gathered; sailing away in a boat was not something that seemed to appeal to most women). He would be hard put to it to make a case for divorce on any other grounds. Anyway, he and Srijo had each taken out sizeable life insurance policies in the early years of their marriage, so the solution was clear… Srijo must depart this life, and not before too long if he had anything to do with it.
Bloodthirsty he was not, and she was the mother of his children, so whatever Abhi devised must not be too painful, and must either be an unfortunate accident or death by natural causes. It was not going to be easy. There would be a great deal of thinking to do. One thing he was sure of. There was going to be no third party involved. You couldn't trust anyone. They could blackmail you in the future. Make a botch of it. Anything. No, he must do it himself, unaided.
Srijo had always kept fairly healthy, despite her fondness for cream cakes and her smoking habit; another black mark against her in Abhi's book. For the life of him he couldn't see how there could be a sudden deterioration in her health. Not one that wouldn't arouse suspicion. And then the idea came to him.
Recently, in his spare moments at lunchtime, Abhi had been visiting the surrounding boatyards. They lived close to the river Gangeshwar so there were plenty to choose from. On one of these jaunts he had come across a new venture called "The Kalighat Inn" - a restaurant cum boathouse with a small artificial lake on which less ambitious sailors could have a go, with little or no risk.
They had an anniversary coming up and they always reckoned to celebrate with a little outing to a restaurant. This had become a ritual as far as Srijo was concerned. Why not take her somewhere different this year, to the new "Kalighat Inn". He had dropped by one evening on the way home from GDM'z and noticed little coloured lights strung in the trees surrounding the lake. One or two couples had small boats out, in the dark, and that's when the idea hit him.
Srijo seemed surprised and pleased with his suggestion of somewhere different on their anniversary this year and promptly made an appointment with the hairdresser for that same afternoon. Besides, she was relieved, if for no other reason, than that she wouldn't have to bother to cook that evening; one of the reasons she kept up the annual ritual of a meal out. She prayed for fine weather; so often when she had her hair done the heavens would open and a wind would spring up, driving rain beneath her umbrella.
Abhi arrived home punctually from GDM'z that evening. He was hoping the good weather would last so he could put his plans into operation. Srijo was busy getting ready, having a bath and trying not to get her crisp new hairdo wet. She worked during the morning in a nearby garage and so had been free to go to the hairdressers in the afternoon.
Unusually for him, Abhi turned up this evening with a bottle of gin and some tonic. Not difficult when you worked in a supermarket but not something he had ever done before. He explained to Srijo that he felt in a celebratory mood and that it wasn't every day you'd been married for twenty-seven years. She was quite overcome by this show of what she thought was sentimentality and agreed to have a drink before they set off. He hummed to himself in the kitchen as he sliced up a lemon and took ice from the refrigerator.
Just a trifle tiddly, but no more, they got into their shiny new little Nissan Sunny and drove off in a happy frame of mind to their rendezvous at "The Kalighat Inn". They were shown to their table overlooking the lake and pretty soon, after another gin and tonic each, were tucking in: Abhi into rump steak and chips and Srijol into fried scampi and chips, washed down with their favourite sweet white wine. Abhi persuaded his wife to indulge in a sickly dessert. After coffee, without consulting Srijo, he ordered two cognacs and, after those gins and tonic and wine, she lost all resolution and, with a giggle, sipped her brandy. .When he settled the bill, Abhi announced that the evening wasn't over yet - he had another little treat in store. Helping her on with her jacket, he took her outside the Inn and led her towards the boatyard. His plan was to take her on a little moonlit sail to round off their anniversary dinner.
When he had rowed them some way across the lake, round to the other side of a little island, covered in weeping willows, he pushed her in. With any luck, after the heavy meal and the fact that she was slightly drunk, and certainly overweight, she would drown quickly and he could start life anew on his chosen path.
Srijo floundered and gasped and splashed, beating the water with her arms. Without clothes Srijo, like many plump people, was a strong swimmer, but tonight the odds were against her. Doped with alcohol, a heavy meal, and fairly substantial outdoor clothing, she felt herself beginning to succumb. However, her survival instinct was a powerful one and she managed to grab the side of the boat, before Abhi could manoeuvre it away from her. Because she was wet and therefore so weighty, as she grasped the side of the boat, it keeled over - and into the water went Abhi.
Meantime, Srijo recovered from her ordeal. She managed to get herself to the small island, clinging on to some long grass overhanging the bank, and she screamed for help. She didn't yet know what had happened to Abhi.
Whether it was the shock of the cold water, or whether Abhi had always had an undiscovered heart defect, the coroner couldn't say; he might have had a heart attack at some stage, anyhow. Personally he thought these middle aged joggers asked for all they got. But he conducted the proceedings with decorum and sympathy, respecting the grieving widow and her terrible shock.
Srijo knew she had been pushed in - but for the sake of her children, the neighbours and all (not to mention the insurance money) she decided to say nothing. But her grief for Abhi was considerably diminished by this knowledge.
Srijo stood on the quayside gazing at the huge liner; little coloured flags waved in the breeze against an azure sky. Today, she would realise a dream she had fostered in secret for years... She would embark on an adventure that previously seemed like a pipe dream. Thanks to the insurance money, she was going on a world cruise. A luxury world cruise. None of your silly little boats.

Rest In Peace

neo